False Hope Can Take You Off Track

Don’t Hold Out With False Hope

Do you rise each morning with the wide-eyed optimism that your child has finally hit that ‘magic’ age where they suddenly become more responsible?   If you haven’t taught your child  this quality all along, then you are experiencing “false hope.”  We all know what false hope means, but we may not be aware we’re practicing it until it’s too late.

Humans have a tendency to continue to hope for things even when no action has been put into place to illicit that desired circumstance or behavior.  It’s like looking at a pile of dirty dishes and believing they will clean and put themselves away on their own.

However, when it comes to parenting holding onto false hope can be damaging to our kids.  Continuing to watch our children practice poor habits day in and day out won’t change the reality of it, no matter how much we “hope” it will change.  This is only compounded when we take false hope a step further and assume they will outgrow it.

Have you latched onto false hope with your parenting techniques?  If so, this tool of  self-deception may be comfortable for a time, but eventually you will have to wake up to the realities in front of you.  If your child hasn’t done his homework without being nagged for an hour beforehand, leaving him to his own devices and hoping he will change is only creating a bigger problem and denying the reality of the situation.

What Super Moms Can Do to Take Care of the Family While Making a Living

by Marie Z

Moms are one of the busiest creatures taking care of their kids and husband and managing the household. And some are still able to keep office jobs. Due to these activities, there are moms who can not even find enough time for themselves anymore. But why do some moms work from home? Times are tough and some moms who would love to stay at home to keep an eye on their kids may be forced to take a job to also contribute financially. Now, staying at home and having a job can be done. Some busy, full-time, stay-at-home moms may think, “Is this really possible?” It certainly is. There are now a lot of work-at-home opportunities available out there, and moms are very much able to be a part of it.

What exactly is the nature of working from home?

Before you jump the gun of being a work-at-home mom, you first need to understand what it fully entails. There are a lot of misconceptions about this kind of work and it is best to know the real deal before deciding to commit to it.

You are not getting it if you think working from home means you can do work any time you feel like it. To be productive, it is important to keep a daily schedule, just like working in an office, and you need to stick to this. The difference between working in an office and at home is that at home you are free to choose what your schedule will be. Moms have a lot of things to do at home. The list of household chores to do every day can be a long one. That’s why it is really important to strictly follow a daily routine. First, decide on how many hours you would need for work. This may change in time, it’s best to be flexible. Balancing life and work can be difficult at first but gradually, as you will be able to adjust, this can be achieved.

Choosing what job is for you

There is no one work-at-home job that will suit everyone, but there is work that is best for you. What works for others may not work for you. It is wise to know what your options are, check your skills and interests then pick one that is best for you. It’s good to pick the kind of job that you have some experience in or one that you are most interested in and are willing to learn. There are three things that you can sell from home. These are skills, knowledge and products. If you are a mom who loves to cook, first you can have an online catering service that will deliver food at your customers’ doorstep. Second, you can share your knowledge on cooking by putting up a site that would share tips and recipes. Having an online tutorial on cooking can also be another option. Third, you can sell cooking utensils and other products related to it. This can either be through direct selling or eBay. With just one skill, you already have three business possibilities.

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

Child Custody, Parenting Plans, and Best Interests of the Child

by Scott D Stewart

Whenever there is a child involved in a couple’s break-up, major decisions on custody need to be made in that child’s best interests.

The custody issues that unmarried parents encounter in Arizona differ in some ways from those faced by their married counterparts. When unmarried parents have a child, but paternity, custody, and parenting time have not yet been established, then the instability and unpredictability of each parent’s access to the child can be very detrimental for everyone in the family.

Although an informal parenting agreement between unmarried parents may work for a while, it is inadequate for the long term. Remember that the long term is 18 years, unless the child is emancipated earlier. Informal parenting arrangements can be helpful for some couples in the interim, but they won’t help resolve problems when a parenting conflict arises.

Whether the couple is married or unmarried, either parent may seek to gain primary custody of the child. When the custody action is initiated, the court begins assessing what is in the best interests of the child.

Requirement of a Parenting Plan

A court-ordered parenting schedule provides a defined, predictable custody arrangement that delineates the terms of access that both parents must abide by, and upon which the child learns to depend. The court’s order is enforceable, so the parties are not reliant on each other’s good will to strengthen and maintain a solid parent-child relationship.

The well-devised parenting plan is made a part of the child custody orders that render it fully enforceable. When a custody proceeding is pending and the court is asked to order joint custody, or shared parenting, three requirements must be met:

1) Both parents agree to joint custody.

2) Joint custody is in the child’s best interests.

3) A written parenting plan is submitted to the court.

With Arizona’s co-parenting model, when the parties seek joint custody, they are required to submit a written parenting plan to the court. Under A.R.S. § 25-403.02, the minimum plan requirements must include a section addressing each of the following:

1. Each parent’s rights and responsibilities for the personal care of the child and for decisions in areas such as education, health care and religious training.

2. A schedule of the physical residence of the child, including holidays and school vacations.

3. A procedure by which proposed changes, disputes and alleged breaches may be mediated or resolved, which may include the use of conciliation services or private counseling.

4. A procedure for periodic review of the plan’s terms by the parents.

5. A statement that the parties understand that joint custody does not necessarily mean equal parenting time.

The court may also examine other factors that might improve the child’s “emotional and physical health.” Whenever the parents are unable to agree on any aspect of the plan, the judge will decide the parenting issue for them.

Specific to the Child’s Needs

The plan must be child-specific to pass muster. Each parent must be prepared to demonstrate how he or she will accomplish the following:

• Properly care for the child while away at work.
• Make adjustments to the work schedule as needed.
• Be flexible with needed care for the child.
• Transport the child to activities and events.
• Be as involved in the child’s life as the parent claims he or she wants to be.

Although the parents may choose their own words in describing their agreements, they should choose those words very carefully. The parents may agree to associate specific definitions to words written into the parenting plan. For example, they could agree that “a day” shall mean “24-hours” and not less. The agreed upon terms and their respective definitions would be written into, and become a part of the plan — those terms are very important to interpretation and implementation.

When the parties do not define any terms specific to their parenting plan, the court will apply default meanings in its interpretation, for example:

• A “day” is eight consecutive hours or less.
• A “weekend” starts at 5:30 p.m.Friday and ends at 6:00 p.m.Sunday.
• A “mid-week” visit is from 5:30 p.m.to 8:00 p.m.on Wednesday (not overnight).
• The “holidays” includes Spring break, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

In preparing the plan, both parties are best served by analyzing every possible situation that could reasonably occur in the child’s life, and plan how best to deal with each of those situations. By going through that process, as involved as it is, they will reduce the likelihood of the family court making parenting decisions for them.

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