False Hope Can Take You Off Track

Don’t Hold Out With False Hope

Do you rise each morning with the wide-eyed optimism that your child has finally hit that ‘magic’ age where they suddenly become more responsible?   If you haven’t taught your child  this quality all along, then you are experiencing “false hope.”  We all know what false hope means, but we may not be aware we’re practicing it until it’s too late.

Humans have a tendency to continue to hope for things even when no action has been put into place to illicit that desired circumstance or behavior.  It’s like looking at a pile of dirty dishes and believing they will clean and put themselves away on their own.

However, when it comes to parenting holding onto false hope can be damaging to our kids.  Continuing to watch our children practice poor habits day in and day out won’t change the reality of it, no matter how much we “hope” it will change.  This is only compounded when we take false hope a step further and assume they will outgrow it.

Have you latched onto false hope with your parenting techniques?  If so, this tool of  self-deception may be comfortable for a time, but eventually you will have to wake up to the realities in front of you.  If your child hasn’t done his homework without being nagged for an hour beforehand, leaving him to his own devices and hoping he will change is only creating a bigger problem and denying the reality of the situation.

Mothers’ Child Custody Rights – Custody Guidelines

By Hera Nelsun

Separation or divorce is a difficult time for parents and children alike. The stress is made even more complicated when there is a child custody fight brewing. If you’re the mother in a child custody battle, don’t assume that you’ll automatically be awarded the right of custody. In fact more and more fathers are seeking and gaining child custody than ever before. If you want to keep custody of your children here are some custody guidelines to help you through the process.

Permanent custody is determined in the final divorce. Until the divorce is finalized child custody is temporary. Many times the mother will be awarded temporary custody but it isn’t necessarily a given. The main consideration in awarding temporary custody is concern for the children’s well-being. This may mean things such as keeping them in the same school, having the same home and in general trying to maintain their lives as normally as possible.

Fight for temporary custody. This is an important guideline because temporary arrangements that are working are often converted to permanent child custody orders. It is paramount that the person seeking custody be the one who is living in the home with the children and is the primary caregiver. This is helpful to winning a child custody case. If you are the one initiating a divorce you can still stay in your home. Seek the advice of a good child custody attorney before taking any action, and attempt to gain temporary custody of your children.

Mothers have traditionally been given custody of their children; however, you should not take this for granted. More and more fathers are seeking child custody than ever before. Keep in mind that even what may seem like an amicable custody case may turn into a battle that you weren’t expecting. You must be prepared as possible for a custody fight.

Mothers need to be aware of their rights as parents and educate themselves on the legal process of custody. Go online to learn as much as you can. Read books, articles, and do online research to arm yourself with information. The best way to prepare for custody is to hire a good child custody attorney. An experienced lawyer knows how to best prepare for many possible situations that could arise in a custody case. Be aware of anything that your former spouse may try to use against you in a legal custody fight. Knowing this will help you and you attorney prepare a proper defense.

If you feel that your former spouse would not make the best custodial parent you need to be able to back that up. Work with your attorney to provide specific reasons why he isn’t the best choice. You may need to give specific information and may need witnesses who have seen certain circumstances with your former spouse.

The best way to be assured of winning child custody is by being prepared. Don’t let the problems of the divorce stand in your way of standing up for your custody rights. The most crucial custody guideline is to make your children’s welfare the priority and you’ll be able to show that you have the best interest of the children in mind. In the meantime you need to be a reasonable parent. Allow visitation with the father and don’t let your own feelings taint those of your kids. The court will respond positively to evidence that you are willing to cooperate with your former spouse.

Discover how Custody X Change can help you stand up for your mother’s child custody rights and find out more child custody guidelines to help your case.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3021581

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

Important Ways to Share Parenting Responsibilities for Your Kids

By Sarah Greener

Parenting responsibilities are a broad variety of ways to raise and teach your children. These responsibilities can mean fun events or disciplining your children. In any family with mother and father present most of the after school and weekend time, parents need to share the responsibility. In a good family structure everybody should help raising the children, parents, grandparents, older brothers and sisters and even extended family.

Whether you are parents of a brand-new wonderful newborn or of older children, generally in many households parenting should be a shared activity. But in some households the responsibility rests on the shoulders of one person only, even though it is not a single parent household. For those of you who feel like they are the sole “children raising and parenting authority” in your house, here are some important ways to share parenting responsibilities.

One of the first steps in sharing parenting responsibilities is to communicate to your partner that you need him or her to pitch in. Sharing parenting responsibilities does not just mean things related to the children, it includes anything that is connected to the family. Chores, errands, shopping, changing diapers, helping with the homework of children, disciplining, teaching, having fun outdoor activities or having a family dinner are parenting responsibilities that need to be shared. Raising children essentially means a lot of work and if you are a family you need to share this work. So do not hesitate to tell your partner that you need help.

Make sure that you tell your partner properly what is expected from him. If your partner did not pitch in before, he or she might not know what it means and what has to be done. Set clear expectations and if possible even make a list. Especially for new parents it might be helpful to have a list of shared parenting responsibilities. However you want to divide the work and the fun, dividing means conquering.

It is also important to discuss your opinions about parenting. Parenting styles and opinions differ greatly. Many of us have preformed opinions on how to raise children and they are often far apart, even if we grew up as next-door neighbors and went to the same schools. For new parents this starts as early as deciding on a name, circumcision on a boy or that often discussed pacifier. When children get older your opinions might differ greatly on the topic of discipline. Whenever you have a clash of opinions, keep calm and communicate. Discuss your options and find a compromise if possible. Disagreeing in front of the children especially about discipline has never a good effect on children and might just do the opposite of what you wanted to achieve. When disciplining children, make sure you agree on the solution and also that you stick to it.

Another very important part in sharing parenting responsibilities is to make time for you as a couple. You need some time to share with your spouse. A family can only work if you and your partner have time for each other. Time to love, time to talk and time to reflect on you and your life as a couple and family is necessary to accomplish good parenting.

But there is one thing you should never forget. If one of you is a stay-at-home parent, and the other one makes money for the family, parenting responsibilities cannot be shared evenly. They still need to be shared, but in an appropriate way. This appropriate way generally will have more fun time to spent with the children for the partner that works all day to feed the family, while there will be more disciplining responsibilities throughout the day for the stay-at-home parent. Although it is still important that you agree on your parenting methods or find compromises to agree on.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1002106

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com